The Healthier Alternative to The Onion

Malaysian Planes in the Ukraine fall mainly on Neocon Claims

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Sources at the United States Intelligence and Analysis Bureau otherwise known as CRISIS are now saying that Malaysian Flight MH-17 was shot down by Russian SAMs and not by Ukraine’s SAMs as the Russians claim.  Sam I. Amm said,”I do not see its Ukraine SAMs, I think its Russian SAMs, says Sam.”  “This is completely legitimate evidence of WMDs being hidden in Russia.”, said former UN Ambassador Bolton.  “We need to bomb Korea, invade Iran and possibly threaten Canada.”, he said.  This man is completely insane.

When asked of allegations of gassing babies, Ambassador Poppov of Russia said,”No, this story said there was a gassy baby.  That’s not the same thing at all.”  When asked if the story of a Russian man beating his wife with a poker was true, Poppov said,”No, this story clearly says that Russian man beats wife at poker.  This is a card game.”  When asked if President Putin was involved in the Russian Elections, Poppov said,”Of course he was involved, he was a candidate that won.”  John Bolton then claimed,”See.  The Russians are involved in elections.  We need sanctions and possible bombing.”  Again, THIS MAN IS COMPLETELY INSANE.


Written by Joshua Sinistar

May 25, 2018 at 12:12 am

Posted in Uncategorized

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